Try to see the other person`s point of view. Sometimes when you sit down and talk about things, you start to see where the other person is coming from. Recognize that everyone was created differently with different talents, abilities, and personality traits. For example, you could be a leader while your friend is more of a follower. You may be frustrated with him or her because he or she is not very determined. Still, it`s important to understand that no matter what your quirks, each person is always unique and should be appreciated. The friend I argued with is the best. It challenges me to broaden my perspective. It relentlessly prevents me from settling down and expecting too little from life. He keeps pushing me out of the nest when I get too comfortable. Excellent insight and a few valuable points to keep in mind. I would add a few things.
First of all, if trust has been broken, then you have to ask yourself, can it be rebuilt and is it even worth the emotional investment? Your own answers may point to some basic personal issues that need to be addressed. Second, not that it was advocated, but only that I would never mix intoxicants with such conversations. This will only exacerbate an already unhealthy status quo. If intoxicants were an important relational support, see my first point above. Third, some friendships may not follow your own life development. Perhaps they had a special meaning for times and places, and people separate. If nostalgia or a deeper harmful pattern keeps you in toxic “friendships,” then true growth may depend on your passage through them. However, do not be ashamed of unhappy relationships, but see these relationships as a contribution to your own growth and flourishing development and to the awareness of appreciating your personality. My 2c.
When you`re ready, send your friend a short text telling them that you want to take a few minutes to discuss something you`re concerned about. If they express discomfort or hesitation, ask them how much time they need and let them know when they are ready to talk. There are many reasons why conflicts can arise between you and your friend. Common examples include jealousy, poor communication skills, lack of consideration and/or respect, different principles or views on life, and a friend who contributes more to the relationship than the other. Disputes or conflicts can arise from a bad day or other problems that have nothing to do with real friendship. In adolescence, fluctuating emotions and hormones can lead to exchanges of anger. Analyze them together. Are they realistic? Are you both satisfied? Which is best to solve the problem? Then, reach an agreement and commit to respecting it. Approach this with an end goal in mind. If this goal is to keep that friend in your life, it`s worth saving the friendship through healthy and balanced communication.
The other day I had a little argument with my good friend Alissa. I told a guy that she liked a conversation we shared without knowing she would be so offended by it. After my disagreement with Alissa, I realized that I had to make decisions about how to handle this conflict. But from that experience, I learned some rules for resolving a conflict with a friend – if the solution is your goal. Take the time to talk to your friend and understand their point of view. If it is a small misunderstanding, you will surely find a solution together. However, if it`s a big disagreement, you may need to assess how important the relationship is to you and whether you`re willing to make an effort to maintain it. When you enter this case, you may be thinking of a confrontation. Nicole Sbordone, LCSW, noted that the word “confrontation” in itself has a negative connotation. She encouraged us to “communicate by being assertive and addressing issues that, while they may lead to confrontation, ultimately contribute to improving friendship.” Tell your friend what you think of the problem: anger, sadness, disappointment, etc. Communication and empathy are important skills for conflict resolution.
Tips for overcoming disagreements include listening to your friend`s opinions and concerns, mutual respect, and avoiding angry or overly emotional exchanges while trying to communicate. These behaviors show that you care about your boyfriend and appreciate the relationship. Engaging and resolving conflicts can actually bring you closer to your friend. Although you are an avid writer, tone of voice and body language can sometimes get lost when you try to convey your thoughts in this form. Alternatively, it can be uncomfortable to meet in person if you end up with a noisy exchange in front of others. Ultimately, use the method that makes you most comfortable so that the conversation can run smoothly and without distractions. If you choose the text or email route, here are Zuckerman`s tips for the email label: a conflict means there`s a problem. There is some kind of problem, even if it is just a misunderstanding that needs to be clarified and resolved.
This can lead us to mistakenly think that this conversation with our friend is a confrontation. When you recognize that someone is angry or hurt, you can better understand the sharp or harsh words that can result. You can choose to help them manage their emotions or let them regain their composure to talk another time. From passive-aggressive tweet wars in high school (very much in line with the brand for 2010) to dramatic mistakes by roommates in college, to misunderstandings and deep questioning of values as an adult, I`ve had my fair share of problems with friends over the years. And it certainly taught me lessons about healthy communication that shouldn`t end in tears for both parties involved. To help you determine the best way to deal with these types of obstacles, we`ve spoken to the experts to get more information on the do`s and don`ts of dealing with conflicts with a close friend. With this in mind, you can take another step towards understanding – and if necessary, towards graduation. The stress that results from conflict with a friend can have a negative impact on you physically and emotionally. A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology found that conflict between teenage friends can contribute to school failure, withdrawal, and crime.
Other side effects of conflict for all ages include anxiety, depression, difficulty with other interpersonal relationships, and loss of friendship. It is important to leave the conflict behind so that your friendship can continue. So how do you choose your moment? Dr. Jaime Zuckerman, a licensed clinical psychologist, gave this simple advice: “If something comes to mind more than three times a day, it`s worth exploring. Otherwise, it will fester and lead to passive aggressive behavior in the relationship. “Also ask yourself if you have the right perspective to deal with the possible consequences.